Sitting with my feet on US ground for the last time for a very long time.
The butterflies and tears didn’t really start until today, stress coming out in all kinds of irrational ways. (Today I marched into the Gap and bought a hoodie.) I lost all urges to be social, at the same time sad that I’m not using my last few precious hours of cell phone service to call loved ones. How confusing, these emotions.
And everything about my new life is different now than it was just 2 days ago. It will not look the way I imagined, once I finally let myself imagine it. Now I fly to a country I’ve seen just once before, half-way around the world, without knowing where I’ll actually land. Or what I’ll do once I get there.
But I’ll get there, with my Love. We’ll continue to get this medicine together—a message I’m totally unclear on, but which is continually being broadcast with greater and greater persistence. I know we’re doing the right thing. Just what that thing is… that’s the part I’m not sure about.
I guess I am now an ex-pat. Whatever that is.
